Look on the Bright Side
Look on the Bright Side
Like everyone else, I’m dealing with this pandemic the best I can. We’re all in this together after all…ok, except for the people that refuse to wear masks and social distance, because it’s a hoax. Then there are the people who won’t wear masks because,
“Themz takin away minze freedom.”
Ok, so we’re not all in this together. If we were it wouldn’t be spreading as much. Forget what I said.
I’m trying to look for some of the positives.
For example, you don’t have to worry about your appearance. You’re not going anywhere, so who cares? I have a big sauce stain on my shirt from Sunday and I’m wearing it again today. Why waste laundry when nobody is going to see me? Ok, my wife keeps making comments about it but, I’ve learned to ignore her. There’s something I’ve gained from spending 24 hours a day together.
That’s just me. She told me it took her 15 minutes to decide what to wear to work yesterday.
She works across the hall from our bedroom. I’m not making this up.
You have an excuse for not helping friends move.
“I really don’t feel comfortable touching your stuff.”
We don’t have to go to weddings. Not only that but, how many couples had to postpone getting married only to find out you couldn’t stand each other anyway? See, positive.
You have an excuse for not going to church. This doesn’t apply to me, I don’t go anyway but, some of you feel obligated. I thought God was everywhere. Apparently, not on the weekends.
When this is all over, I’m switching religions. I’m going from Catholic to Evangelical. The Catholic Church is just boring ceremonies. Evangelicals are having orgies. Which one sounds like it’s more fun?
Lastly, even though I have nowhere to be, when I drive I’m going way over the speed limit. I haven’t seen many people getting pulled over. Even if they do pull me over, I’m ready for them. Even if they’re wearing a mask, I’m not putting one on.
“Sorry Officer, I was only out for a drive and didn’t bring one.”
Then I’ll start coughing and hacking and say,
“Is it really hot? I’m burning up. I think I may have a fever.”
If they still don’t get the hint,
“I need your license, registration and proof of insurance.”
“Sorry Officer, I really prefer you don’t touch my things. I don’t need your cooties in my car.”
See, find the positive in all of this…Oh, who the hell am I kidding? This is so aggravating.
You Can’t Argue with Crazy
You Can’t Argue With Crazy
Every time I look on social media these days, I get angry and depressed. Everyone is fighting and unfriending each other and these are real longtime friends and that’s sad. I’ve unfriended a few, usually people that I don’t even know who the hell they are.
If I don’t agree with your stupid opinion…and I don’t know who the hell you are…why should we be friends?
Of course all of the fighting is over the upcoming election. On one side you have the people saying that Joe Biden is mentally incompetent to do the job as president.
This is while defending a man who tried to read the word Yosemite and called it Yos-A-Mite. He also called Thailand, thigh land and said the Spanish flu ended WW 2 in 1917, twenty two years before it even started, and this was just from last week.
Just today former Trump chief strategist Steve Bannon was arrested for fraud. He’s accused of taking money from stupid people to build a wall to keep away the Mexican Boogeyman. Then he took the money and used it on himself.
Bannon was the sixth former member of Trump’s staff to be arrested but,
Yeah, nothing to see here.
Oh, also today, a Federal Judge rejected Trump’s latest effort to block the Manhattan D.A. from obtaining his Tax records in a fraud case. That’s twice the word fraud has come up about Trump and that’s just today, August 20.
Trump immediately filed an appeal because, when you’re innocent there’s nothing to hide.
Yeah, nothing to see here.
Not Funny and Time Slips Away
Not Funny and Time Slips Away
If you’re not aware, I’m older than I was when last we spoke. Maybe you’re one of the friends who sent me birthday wishes. I can’t believe how many friends I have and I appreciate them remembering me…I also can’t believe how many friends I don’t know who the hell they are or remember how I know them.
Birthdays are not a big deal for me, especially as I get older. When you’re a kid you look forward to them. You even add the half year to your age. Remember being ten and a half? Yeah, nobody’s ever been fifty-five and a half.
I’m at the point now that I stay the same age until that stupid clock strikes midnight on August 4 and my wife tells me happy birthday…Don’t remind me.
Normally I would have a show on or right around my birthday. It takes my mind off getting older and I really enjoy performing…Used to anyway. It’s been a long time.
I did a few minutes hosting the graduation show for my latest class…the one I’m calling the Covid-class.
The President and the Alien Doctor
The President and the Alien Doctor
Under normal circumstances the title of this article would suggest either a movie or a Syfy novel. Of course these are anything but normal times. We are right in the middle of the Goon’s Parade.
I use that term because it was the name of a book idea I had a few years ago. I scrapped it because it just seemed too unbelievable. It was about a game show host that ran for President.
Sound familiar?
Anyway, through a lot of smoke and mirrors and false promises, he actually wins.
Sound familiar?
Then he almost destroys the country because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. That’s when his followers turn against him…
Yeah I know…that’s now the part that’s unbelievable.
So, let’s take a look at the latest chapter in the story. Donald Trump, who is currently in the role of president, has been trying to discredit Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. He’s served under five former Presidents…and I’m sure he really misses all of them.
Dr. Fauci is also one of the heads of the Corona Virus task force. So, what is Trump’s problem with him?
For starters, his approval rating is higher than the Village Idiot and this upsets Trump because,
- He’s a sociopath that suffers from acute narcissism.
Or,
- He’s a sociopath that suffers from acute narcissism.
