#rainydays Archives – #WhatAggravatesMe

Look on the Bright Side

Posted on September 2, 2020 · Leave a Comment

Look on the Bright Side

Like everyone else, I’m dealing with this pandemic the best I can. We’re all in this together after all…ok, except for the people that refuse to wear masks and social distance, because it’s a hoax. Then there are the people who won’t wear masks because,
“Themz takin away minze freedom.”
Ok, so we’re not all in this together. If we were it wouldn’t be spreading as much. Forget what I said.

I’m trying to look for some of the positives.
For example, you don’t have to worry about your appearance. You’re not going anywhere, so who cares? I have a big sauce stain on my shirt from Sunday and I’m wearing it again today. Why waste laundry when nobody is going to see me? Ok, my wife keeps making comments about it but, I’ve learned to ignore her. There’s something I’ve gained from spending 24 hours a day together.
That’s just me. She told me it took her 15 minutes to decide what to wear to work yesterday.
She works across the hall from our bedroom. I’m not making this up.

You have an excuse for not helping friends move.
“I really don’t feel comfortable touching your stuff.”

We don’t have to go to weddings. Not only that but, how many couples had to postpone getting married only to find out you couldn’t stand each other anyway? See, positive.

You have an excuse for not going to church. This doesn’t apply to me, I don’t go anyway but, some of you feel obligated. I thought God was everywhere. Apparently, not on the weekends.

When this is all over, I’m switching religions. I’m going from Catholic to Evangelical. The Catholic Church is just boring ceremonies. Evangelicals are having orgies. Which one sounds like it’s more fun?

Lastly, even though I have nowhere to be, when I drive I’m going way over the speed limit. I haven’t seen many people getting pulled over. Even if they do pull me over, I’m ready for them. Even if they’re wearing a mask, I’m not putting one on.

“Sorry Officer, I was only out for a drive and didn’t bring one.”
Then I’ll start coughing and hacking and say,

“Is it really hot? I’m burning up. I think I may have a fever.”
If they still don’t get the hint,
“I need your license, registration and proof of insurance.”
“Sorry Officer, I really prefer you don’t touch my things. I don’t need your cooties in my car.”

See, find the positive in all of this…Oh, who the hell am I kidding? This is so aggravating.

Filed Under: Uncategorized · Tagged: #coronavirus, #Groundhogday, #Positive, #PositiveThinking, #rainydays, #TrumpVirus, #WhatAggravatesMe, Comedy, Pittsburgh Comedy

Nothing Original

Posted on September 12, 2018 · Leave a Comment

Nothing Original

You may have already seen this photo, if so I apologize… Or maybe not. It seemed appropriate after our recent bout of heavy rain and flooding. To be followed by another round of heavy rain and flooding this coming weekend. Not to mention the times of heavy rains and flooding throughout much of the year. It seems like we’re having nothing but sequels.

When you think about it, why should the weather be different than everything else? Television is filled with remakes and reboots. “Murphy Brown” is coming back. Hawaii Five-O came back. “Magnum P.I”. is back, but not with the real Magnum. I haven’t seen it, so I’m guessing he’s supposed to be Magnum’s son.

Maybe not. I don’t know. If that were the case it probably would have been called “Magnum Jr.”, “Little Magnum” or “Son of a P…I”

“Rosanne” is coming back again…except without Rosanne. She’s still out because of her late night racist tweets. So now she’s dead…not for real, just TV dead. So the show will be called “The Connors”, because calling the show “Rosanne” without an actual Rosanne would confuse people…I wish I meant that as a joke but, you know.

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Filed Under: television, Weather Aggravation · Tagged: #rainydays, Creed 2, Remakes, Rosanne

My New Lawnmower

Posted on May 16, 2018 · Leave a Comment

My New Lawnmower

It was getting out of hand. I couldn’t keep up. Every year around this time it’s a nuisance, but this year seemed worse. I would cut the grass, then it would rain for two days straight and the grass would need cut again. I wasn’t going to be able to maintain this kind of pace.

My friend Mike from High School used to talk about the guy that lived across from him that cut his grass every day, year round. Then they would take him away for a while. Once he got home it would be right back to mowing every day until once again he was institutionalized. I didn’t want the neighborhood kids referring to me as the crazy neighbor…Ok, maybe it’s too late for that, but no need to add to the legend.

Something had to be done. I was reading an article about a new local restaurant when I came across a term you see a lot these days, grass-fed beef. The beef tastes better when it eats grass. I have a lot of grass for the beef to eat to make it tastier. I decided to get a cow.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized · Tagged: #rainydays, #WhatAggravatesMe