Empty Calories and Hostility

Empty Calories and Hostilities

I tried my best to get to the bottom of it. This is the best I’ve been able to come up. Apparently, there was a lot of anger toward M&M’s this week. What could be the cause? We’re they raising the prices? Keeping the price and making the bags smaller? Why did they start making peanut butter M&M’s when we already had Reese’s Pieces?

None of these was the reason. What actually caused the controversy…and I’m not making this up…is that one of the M&M’s started wearing different shoes.

Turns out, there’s a guy named Tucker Carlson who does a fake news show on the Fox Entertainment Network. Tucker’s viewers turn to him to find out what their latest perceived grievance should be and this week he gave them a…well, he gave them something.

So, the green M&M, which is supposedly female, changed from wearing boots to high top sneakers. This move sent Tucker off the deep end. Not that he had far to go.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that maybe I don’t pay enough attention to what kind of footwear my candy is wearing. I never really thought of it as an issue. Like anyone else, I thing Candy has the right to wear whatever they want.

Tucker isn’t having it. He’s really upset over the change and his viewers are on the rampage. Next, he’ll be upset because there always seem to be more brown ones in the bag than any other color.

Oh, just stop! I’m sure it’s just the way it is. Maybe they just make more brown ones or that’s just an illusion because brown is a darker color. No, the brown M&M’s are not trying to replace you! I don’t know why they don’t make white M&M’s…just stop it now!

The people angry at M&M’s are the same ones against masks, vaccines, children’s books, the Mexican boogey man…it’s a long list of grievances. Oh, they’re always worried that they will have a fentanyl overdose. I don’t know why this would even be a concern. You would think the easiest way to avoid overdosing would be to not do drugs. I know, it seems like an illogical way to solve a problem. You know, with no hatred or anger towards a perceived enemy.

I know, you’re probably thinking that I’m some weirdo who doesn’t care what type of clothing his candy wears. If it makes me weird or strange, so be it. I can live with that.

I don’t get upset with things that don’t affect my life. So, if you look at it my way, there are two things.

First of all, the type of shoes my candy wears, does nothing to change my life. Second, and I think this is most important, M&M’s don’t actually wear shoes. So, there’s that.

It doesn’t affect your life and it’s make believe. Just keep telling yourself that. Hopefully, I could help. Of course, if you’re upset with the type of shoes your snack is wearing, you need more help that I can give.

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