A Nutting Interview

A Nutting Interview


With baseball season about to begin, I sat down with Pirates owner Bob “Ka-Ching” Nutting for an interview on the state of the 2022 team.


WAM)  So, what can be expect from the Pirates this year?

  1. BN) It’s a beautiful stadium. It has spectacular views of the city and river. Such a great night out for families or anybody really.

WAM) But, what about the team.

  1. BN) We’ll be giving away Hawaiian shirts, there will be plenty of fireworks nights. Pup night. You can bring your dog to the game. What dog wouldn’t want to spend a summer night at the most beautiful stadium in baseball?

WAM) What about the team? The people in this city are tired of all the losing. Do you realize, former Pirate Garrett Cole is among a handful of players who make more than your entire roster?

  1. BN) Am I a genius or what for getting rid of that guy? Do you know how much that would cost?

WAM) I realize it’s tough to compete with big market teams like the Yankees or Dodgers…

  1. BN) Can you imagine if I could get my hands on one of those teams? If I could take the Yankees or Dodgers and trim their payroll down to 35 million…Whoa Mama! Bobby needs a new boat baby!

WAM) What about teams in your division? Cincinnati and Milwaukee are both smaller markets than Pittsburgh. Yet, these teams have been able to raise payroll enough to make them competitive.

  1. BN) (He’s just covering his ears and yelling Whoo!!!…Whoo!!!)

WAM) Brian Reynolds is arguably your best player, so why are you fighting him in arbitration over a measly 600 thousand?

  1. BN) Why should he get it? That’s my money.

WAM) But, in today’s market, it’s such a small amount.

  1. BN) Mine, all mine!

WAM) The Pirates finished in last place a year ago and it looks like they will again this year.

  1. BN) What? Are you one of those guy that pays attention to standings?

WAM) What else is there?

  1. BN) You shouldn’t judge a team by how many wins they have. That’s not what makes a team successful.

WAM) So, what does?

  1. BN) The amount of profit the owner makes.

WAM) So, what message would you give to the fans that would like to follow a winning team?

  1. BN) There’s plenty of other teams that come through town. Maybe one of them has an owner silly enough to put winning ahead of profit.

WAM) So you’re telling them to root for the opposing team.

  1. BN) Sure, what do I care? As long as they’re at my stadium paying my prices. It doesn’t bother me if they’re rooting for the Bears or Lions or Lakers.

WAM) The Pirates don’t play any of those teams.

  1. BN) Really? Oh, I’m sure they’ll be on the schedule next year or the year after.

WAM) Any final message to the Pirate fans on what the future holds?

  1. BN) Ka-Ching!

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