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My Head is Horny

My Head is Horny

 

They bump into me as they walk down the street or through a store. They wander out into traffic without looking up. You see them driving without watching the road. You have to hope nothing will happen to them…Well, maybe you do, but not me. If you’re going to spend your time staring down at your phone instead of experiencing life, you get what you deserve.

That’s probably why I was delighted to hear how young people are now developing horns on the back of their heads from staring down constantly at their devices. I don’t have anything against young people. In fact, I wouldn’t mind the same thing happening to older morons.

It’s just that as of now, only young people are growing horns. I guess those of us who are older will not be part of the next step in human evolution.

Yes, Evolution…this article isn’t open for religious debate. Without Evolution, I have nothing to write about.

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Why Can’t We Be Friends?

Why Can’t We Be Friends?

 

Whenever I see it, I just stop reading. The first few times I got sucked in, but I’ve learned since then. I have enough guilt in my life without social media. Hell, I have guilt about spending too much or too little time with social media. That’s why I don’t need another guilt trip whenever I click on an App.

You know the posts. They start off with…

“Let’s see who my true friends are…”

See! Laying the guilt on right from the start. It’s not that I’m not your friend. It’s that you ask for too much.

If you need money for something, I’ll give you what I can. If you need a place to stay…I’ll probably call around and try to pawn you off on somebody else. If I can’t do that, yeah, I guess you can stay here.

After the initial guilt, comes part two.

“If you have known anybody who suffered with (Pick your disease), you know how devastating it can be.

Hey, I’m not making light of terrible diseases…I’ll even help out with the cause, just not the way they ask.

It’s never good enough to just share their post and spread the word. Their true friends can do better than that.

“Don’t just share. If you’re a true friend you will copy this post and take it to a local tattoo artist. Then you will have them tattoo it on your ass. Then take a photo and post it online. I will know you are a true friend when I can come here and read your ass.”

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