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What Are You Trying To Say?

What Are You Trying To Say?

 

So the local newspaper, the Post-Gazette, is going digital. Anyway, that’s what I think I’ve deciphered from their current ad campaign. If you’ve seen it, you’re probably as confused as I am. Elderly people complaining that the newspaper is going digital, one old lady talking about her cookies…the same old lady telling the PG to go screw themselves…

At first, it wasn’t obvious what they were trying to say. Actually, it really still isn’t now. There’s another one with an old guy reading the newspaper on the bus, next to a kid with headphones, staring at his phone. The old guy goes on about how he gets his business news each day from the newspaper and can’t get up to the minute quotes on his phone.

So apparently, this is the only old guy lost in time that doesn’t realize the current trend. As the commercial ended, I looked to see it was an endorsement of the Post-Gazette. This is where I became confused.

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What’s In Your Mail?

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Ok, I Was There.

Ok, I Was There.

 

I have a confession to make. This past Sunday afternoon, my wife and I attended the Pirates game. I know, I’ve been preaching to stay away until Nutting sells the team and have done my part and stayed away for two years.

They actually made some bold moves at the trade deadline for a change and I decided to give them the benefit of a doubt. The dwindling attendance definitely forced their hand on making moves. I was preparing to write a story called “Nutty Nuttings Everything Must Go Sale!”

You know the original plan was to get rid of any veteran making decent money and not under contract beyond next year…Cervelli, Harrison, Dickerson, Mercer, Freese, Nova, maybe Vasquez (The Player formerly known as Rivero.)

Then The Pirates screwed ownership by winning 11 in a row right before the deadline. Attendance has been dropping for three years and making those trades would have had fans showing up with pitchforks and torches.

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Class Photo

Here I am outside the Parkway Theater with the guys from my comedy class. This was right after the Graduation Show. As you can see, thanks to my wife’s photography, my eyes are closed and I look like a jerk…Something had to aggravate me. Anyway, these guys made me look good. Great job Adam Neidig, Kaleb Suskow, Ben Bonasso, Mike Bosco, Arpad Pulinka, Johnathan Michael and Jeff Kearney.

 

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Too Soon!

Too Soon!

 

Stopped into the local Market District on Monday and was confronted by a huge Frankenstein sign, pitching Halloween Candy. In case you don’t remember, Monday was August 13. There were still 18 days left in August, another 30 in September and then 30 more in October before Halloween.

The sign said that it was time to stock up on Halloween Candy because it’s right around the corner. When did almost three months become right around the corner? Why are they pressuring me to buy candy that I normally get the day before Halloween?

I think they know, if I buy the candy now, it’s not going to make it to Halloween. One of these hot summer nights…yes, it’s still summer…Anyway, one of these nights I’m going to have a craving for a mini-Snickers or small bag of M&M’s, maybe a Twix…Definitely not a Three Musketeers. I give that crap to the kids.

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