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Kennywood Ketchup Kontroversy

Kennywood Ketchup Kontroversy

 

If you’re from Pittsburgh, there are certain traditions we all share. A good number of us have attended the Arts Festival, only to be caught in a major thunderstorm. We’ve all been stuck in tunnel traffic because idiots slow down to 35mph when they drive through tunnels and it’s taken us 45 minutes to go a mile through construction, only to see a Penn Dot worker smoking a cigarette and picking their ass.

The main things are if you live in this city, you’ve been to Kennywood and are a Steelers fan. Being a Steelers fan is part of the heritage. You can’t root for any other team if you are born and raised here. I guess you could, if you want to be a jagoff (Another part of our culture, the word jagoff.)

Yeah, you can be a fan for another team, but it’s dangerous. If you grow up here and root for Brady and the Patriots, we’ll chase you out of town with rocks and cans of Boston Baked Beans.

So anyway, Kennywood and the Steelers. This year they are coming together in a glorious union. The park is opening a new roller coaster, “The Steel Curtain,” which will be part of “Steelers Country.”

I don’t know what other rides will be part of “Steelers Country.” From my understanding, they had a ride called the “Leveon Bell.” Unfortunately, the ride never showed up, so they sent it to New York.

Yeah…yeah…yeah I know. Shut up!

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What About Pirates Country?

What About Pirates Country?

 

So, Kennywood Park announces their big secret. They took out the log jammer last year, which stopped a lot of people from using the same old constipation jokes, year after year. Of course, isn’t that what Kennywood is about, reliving memories? When the snow is on the ground and your freezing cold, you have something to look forward to.

The new ride, “The Steel Curtain” looks impressive. A Steel coaster with more inversions than any other coaster in the world. It’s dedicated to the Steelers and not only that, it will be part of the new “Steelers Country” section of the park. What better combination is there if you’re a native of Pittsburgh? A great amusement park and first class Football organization that you grew up with.

I’m thinking, why stop there. Shouldn’t there be a part of the park dedicated to Bob Nutting’s Pirates? There has to be some room in an abandoned part of the parking lot or some old picnic grove grown over with weeds.

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