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Can’t Unsee it

Can’t Unsee It

 

Disney calls itself the most magical place on earth. I don’t know if that’s true, but it has to be something for children who haven’t grown cynical from their years on earth. It will happen to them eventually. I think I got there around the age of six, although I might be more advanced than most.

Imagine what it’s like to a child to go into a place where all of these fairy-tale characters come to life. I never got to a Disney Park until I was in my teens. I was already ruined by then and the only thing that thrilled me was that Goofy was wearing the same Converse shoes as me. I should tell you, Goofy was the one who pointed it out, which made it all the more special.

Now as an adult, I’m confronted by a different type of magical character. The people who shop at Walmart leap to mind.

Where do these people come from? I had rarely ventured into a Walmart until they built one in my neighborhood, and even now it’s on a limited basis. The one’s I had been to in the past were always on the road, in another state, out of necessity.

Why, when you go into a Walmart anywhere in the country, the people are the same? The thing is, you don’t see them anywhere else but here. I can go anywhere else in my neighborhood and see normal looking people. Yet, when I go to Walmart, it’s like a new breed.

Is there some Sub-Culture living underground that can only surface in Walmart’s? I keep looking for the secret tunnel, but they have it well hidden. I’ve seen them suddenly appear and disappear, but I don’t know where they go or come from.

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Is This a Scam?

Is This a Scam?

 

I’m back from my break…Yeah, I know…you didn’t even notice I was gone. Sometimes you people really aggravate me…OK, actually all the time…but still, I have feelings that can be hurt.

Anyway, I was doing shows down in the Outer Banks of North Carolina and used it as sort of a working vacation. I figured I would just spend the days relaxing at the beach and not allow anything to ruin the tranquility.

Of course, no chance of that actually happening. It started as soon as I got there. My phone kept getting robo-calls leaving voice mails. I tried blocking the number but they just called back using an alternative number.

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4th of July Rerun to cool you off.

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The Rocket’s Head Glare

The Rocket’s Head Glare

 

I remember the first time I got a pack of firecrackers as a kid. Before I opened them I read the instructions.

“Place on ground, light fuse, run away.”

Yes, light fuse and run away. It didn’t say “Walk Away Leisurely,” Or “Stand Over and Stare.” It also didn’t say, “Throw at your friends,” although that’s what we ended up doing. Not at anybody’s face or eyes…we weren’t monsters. We’d usually aim for the crotch.

If you’ve ever had a firecracker blow up on near or on you, they sting but you’re not going to lose anything important.

The heavier artillery like M-80’s and Fireworks can cause serious damage and you have to be careful with them. I bring this up as the Fourth of July approaches and we will be hearing about various fireworks related injuries.

Most of these incidents can be avoided, but that would involve following directions. You can find a long list of safety tips online. I’ll just go over the first few.

  1. Children should not handle Fireworks…That’s a no-brainer.
  2. Do not use alcohol with Fireworks…Yeah, right.
  3. Follow the Laws, use common sense…How can I use common sense if I’m drunk?

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