Inflatable Jesus
Inflatable Jesus
As Easter is upon us, I was thinking it might be a good time for people to stop arguing. I’m tired of looking at these debates online between people over things like gun control and politics. You’re never going to change the other person’s mind, so why do you try?
This weekend, Christian religions celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus. Wouldn’t this be a good time to turn the other cheek, the way he did?
I wanted to get the message across. Maybe get people to reflect on what this holiday is truly about. As I drove around my neighborhood looking at the painted bunnies in the yards and plastic eggs dangling from the trees, I wondered what the hell these things had to do with Easter. Then it dawned on me. I realized what I had to do. I drove over to Home Depot.
They had big inflatable bunnies and a giant blow up egg, but that wasn’t what I was looking for. I found a guy that was working in that department.
Why Ham?
Why Ham?
You may have seen my Easter video where I try to solve the mystery of what Chocolate Rabbits have to do with the death and resurrection of Jesus. Here’s another question you’ve probably never asked yourself? What’s up with Easter Ham?
I know, its tradition…but why? Did Jesus rise from the dead and walk in on the Apostles as they were feasting on Ham?
“Jesus, you’re alive! Praise the Lord!”
“Wait, you thought I was dead, so you figured you’d stuff yourselves with Ham?”
“But Jesus, it was on sale for Easter.”
“What’s Easter?”
“Oh man, this is getting awkward.”
Juice Them Up!
Juice Them Up!
Baseball season opens this week and I find myself being a bit nostalgic for the old days. I never wanted to be one of those old guys talking about how things were better when I was younger.
“These guys are nowhere as good as the players I used to watch.”
Problem is, you can’t argue with me about that statement. Guys were way better twenty years ago, it’s not even close…that’s because they were all on steroids!
I miss those days. Guys would come out of the dugout and be twice the size of the other players. When they batted, it looked like King Kong holding a twig. There was always a chance they were going to hit a screeching liner up the middle and leave a hole in the pitcher’s torso. Just like it happens in the cartoons.
Up until the late nineties, only two guys had hit more than sixty homers in a season. The first was Babe Ruth. If you’ve ever seen a picture of the Babe, you know he wasn’t using performance enhancing drugs.
The second was Roger Maris who did it in the sixties before anybody was taking steroids. Players were more into amphetamines then. Amphetamines don’t make you hit the ball farther, they just make you annoying to be around.
