Why Ham?

Why Ham?


You may have seen my Easter video where I try to solve the mystery of what Chocolate Rabbits have to do with the death and resurrection of Jesus. Here’s another question you’ve probably never asked yourself? What’s up with Easter Ham?

I know, its tradition…but why? Did Jesus rise from the dead and walk in on the Apostles as they were feasting on Ham?

“Jesus, you’re alive! Praise the Lord!”

“Wait, you thought I was dead, so you figured you’d stuff yourselves with Ham?”

“But Jesus, it was on sale for Easter.”

“What’s Easter?”

“Oh man, this is getting awkward.”

From what I can find online, eating ham on Easter is actually taken from a Pagan ritual. Many of our holiday traditions are rooted in Paganism, like putting a tree in your living room at Christmas.

Anyway, there was a queen named Semiramus…When her husband Cush died, she married her son Nimrod…I swear I’m not making this up. Research it. Semiramus changed her name because it was too hard to pronounce…Ok, I made that part up. She would become Ishtar. Then she had a son, who would go on to produce horrendous Hollywood movies.

Ok, so she had a son who was killed by a pig. It doesn’t say if it was Nimrod’s son. You would think a Nimrod would have a kid that would get himself killed by a pig.

After that there was a season of lent…sound familiar? During lent, no meat was to be eaten. Yeah, the whole time, not just Fridays. You think you’re sick of fish sandwiches now. Then on the Sunday after the first full moon of the spring equinox…the reason Easter moves around so much…it’s not a random thing.

So on that Sunday they would eat pig since Nimrod’s kid…well, you know.

Now you know why you eat ham on Easter. Yeah, I know what you’re saying. But, Jesus wasn’t killed by a pig? What’re you going to eat, wood?

The intention of this wasn’t to be a history lesson. I was just trying to figure out why ham.

On the other hand, I believe my father solved the reason eating pork on New Year’s Day is considered lucky.

“It’s a load of crap started by butchers. They have all the pork to get rid of after selling Christmas Hams.”

You can do your own research on Christmas Ham. You have to admit, my father had a point. I mean what’s lucky about eating artery clogging meats?

“I’m having a quadruple bypass tomorrow.”

“You lucky son of a bitch.”

Enjoy your ham.


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