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Not Terrible?

Not Terrible?

 

During the evening newscast the other night, I heard the local weatherman give a forecast that I don’t remember ever hearing before. He said that tomorrow,

“Won’t be terrible.”

It was only going to be 41 degrees but, it was the first time we would break the freezing mark in a few weeks. It was also the first time it wasn’t going to snow in eighteen days. So,

“Not terrible.”

This is where we are right now. A year into the pandemic, below average temperatures, heavy snow, ice storms, locusts, seas boiling red with blood…If it’s not awful, we’ll take it.

We’ve come a long way in the past year if we’re ready to settle for news that’s not devastating.

If you went into a restaurant and asked,

“How’s the prime rib?”

“Way overcooked, very dry. If you drink enough fluids with it, you can probably choke it down. Let’s just say, if you haven’t eaten for a week, it’s not too bad.”

Would you shell out twenty-eight bucks for that? Hell no.

If you were having sex with somebody for the first time and asked,

“So, was that good for you?”

“Well, I was with one guy who was so drunk that couldn’t do anything. Then he threw up on me and passed out. So, you were better than him.”

I don’t think you would consider that high praise.

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How Will He Get By?

How Will He Get By?

 

It started with a simple thought…”People are lazy.”

Yes we are lazy but, how can you use that to take advantage of us and make money? That’s where Jeff Bezos came up with Amazon. People are so lazy they hate going to the store, anything you need can come right to your door.

Oh, I know, you still have to grab the package off the porch and carry it into the house. Until there’s a better system, this is the best we have.

Mr. Bezos was already wealthy, then Covid came along. Going to the store became not only a chore but, possibly hazardous to our health. Why not just have it delivered?

Although he was already wealthy to begin with, Mr. Bezos made enough money in the past year to have given all of his employees a bonus of as much as $150,000 dollars apiece and still had just as much money as he had before.

Of course he didn’t share the wealth with those people putting their lives on the line during the pandemic. He kept it all to himself. I now realize Jeff that you were just being frugal and not a “Greedy Pig” like some people are saying.

You see Jeff Bezos decided to walk away from his job this week. He’s only 57 years old. He’s got almost ten years until he can collect Social Security. Until then, he has to make do on 196 billion.

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Yeah, What Could go Wrong?

Yeah, What Could go Wrong?

 

It’s finally going to happen. The big question is, should it? I’m talking about the news that Cadillac is developing a car that can fly. We were supposed to have flying cars by the year 2000. It never happened. Now, we may see them in the next few years.

Have you ever been sitting in traffic and thinking,

“If I could just take off and fly over this.”

I do it all the time. Of course, in my mind, I’m the only one doing it. The thing is, once they become available, anybody can get one. That’s where the problem lies.

Do you really want the idiots that are on the road hovering over your head? Are there going to be lanes in the sky or will it just be flying bumper cars? Are there going to be sky lanes? Even if we have lanes, are people going to follow them?

During Covid, grocery stores have arrows on the floor to keep us all going in the same direction for social distancing. How often has some moron come at you in the wrong direction? Yeah, I know, every time.

Plus, I’m sure Penn Dot is already working on a way to close down parts of the sky during heavy travel times. Do you want to fly past guys in jet packs smoking cigarettes and picking their asses while no work is being done?

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Beyond Aggravated

Beyond Aggravated

 

In all of my years on this planet, and they are many, I’ve watched images of my country in horror on two occasions. September 11 and today. I never imagined I would witness an attempted coup in this country. Certainly not one incited by the sitting president.

We were headed to this point. You could see it coming yet, so many were willing to ignore and go along with the whims of this sociopath. Oh, and he is insane. All of this is a result of a 74 year old man that has never been told no before.

“Daddy, they won’t let me play president anymore. Do something.”

Because of his extreme narcissistic behavior, he’s unable to accept the fact he lost the election. For two months he’s been whining that he really won.

There was a kid named Stevie that used to play whiffle ball with us. He was awful and would strike out every time. After three strikes, he would start pouting, so we would give him one more chance.

Then when he missed he would scream,

“That’s not fair!”

Then he would run home. At least he went home. Trump just kept harping on this while thousands died each day because of his failure as a leader in handling the pandemic.

So, Trump claims the election was rigged and he knows it. They’ve had over sixty chances to present the evidence that he was cheated in court. No evidence was ever presented. Do you know why?

BECAUSE THERE ISN’T ANY!

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