By Comedian John Knight
Spent the night before Halloween at the haunted Larimer Mansion. Everyone was picking up Orbs in the basement. I didn’t see any, maybe because they were around me. When we went back upstairs the owner asked if any of us had encountered the dark figure in the basement. I hadn’t noticed it at the time, but saw this on the video.
I didn’t see it at the time. All I noticed was my video went blurry. You tell me what you see. There is more to come. We captured a lot that night. Happy Halloween.
My New Life
You may have already heard the news about me becoming a billionaire. Ok, maybe not. I may plan to keep this a secret for a few days. Oh, who am I kidding? They’ll be hunting me down like dogs.
I should let you know that as I write this, I’m still not a billionaire. Its a few hours before the Mega-Millions drawing. It’s just that I bought a ticket and am feeling confident.
Why should I feel so confident? Because I never buy lottery tickets. Unlike many of you, I don’t play when the jackpot is only a few hundred million. After taxes, what are you left with? It’s not really worth playing.
Speaking of taxes, they said on the news that winning 1.6 billion only nets you around 600 million. That’s ridiculous. I’m going to need some write-offs. That’s why I purchased a corporate jet on Amazon this afternoon. [Read more…]
My New Look
I’m really getting tired of my own face. You would too if you had to look at it every day. Just ask my wife. It’s just that I’ve been looking at this same face my whole life. As if that isn’t bad enough, now it’s starting to show the wear and tear of being my face all these years.
Sometimes you need something new to shake things up. A change of pace…or scenery in this case. When you look out the window, it’s never the same. Some days it’s sunny, lately mostly raining, now the leaves are starting to change. Nature shakes things up for us. But, when I look in the mirror, it’s always the same face looking back at me.
My first thought was to grow a beard. The thing is, everyone has beards now, it’s too trendy. I never do anything popular. I’m always afraid I will be out of the loop when it falls out of fashion and then you just look like an ass.
I could get something pierced, but what? You don’t want to look like the old guy trying to be hip. I know I run into older guys with pierced ears, but is that enough? If you do an ear, maybe a nose, maybe an ear and a nose…maybe another ear…a lip…Next thing you know, you look like the guy in the picture.
