My New Look

My New Look


I’m really getting tired of my own face. You would too if you had to look at it every day. Just ask my wife. It’s just that I’ve been looking at this same face my whole life. As if that isn’t bad enough, now it’s starting to show the wear and tear of being my face all these years.

Sometimes you need something new to shake things up. A change of pace…or scenery in this case. When you look out the window, it’s never the same. Some days it’s sunny, lately mostly raining, now the leaves are starting to change. Nature shakes things up for us. But, when I look in the mirror, it’s always the same face looking back at me.

My first thought was to grow a beard. The thing is, everyone has beards now, it’s too trendy. I never do anything popular. I’m always afraid I will be out of the loop when it falls out of fashion and then you just look like an ass.

I could get something pierced, but what? You don’t want to look like the old guy trying to be hip. I know I run into older guys with pierced ears, but is that enough? If you do an ear, maybe a nose, maybe an ear and a nose…maybe another ear…a lip…Next thing you know, you look like the guy in the picture.

What is this guy’s statement anyway? Is he trying to punish himself? Punish his parents? Punish all of us that have to look at him? If I’m going for a new look, it’s not going to be one that’s painful. Plus, I don’t want to walk around and constantly have refrigerator magnets stuck to my face.

Then there’s this guy.

Apparently, just having his entire face tattooed wasn’t quite giving him all of the attention he craved. So, he had what appear to be screws, drilled from the inside of his mouth and now protruding from his lips.

There’s no going back from this one. There’s no shaving the beard or removing all the rings and letting your face heal. This is a major commitment. I wonder if he ever thinks to himself,

“You know, it would’ve been easier and less painful to jump up and down all day and yell…

Look at me dammit! Look at me!”

You may be thinking there are some minor hazards with this look. You may be thinking,

“It would be almost impossible to kiss this guy.”

That problem is “Self-Solving.” This guy has come to the conclusion,
“I’m single and staying that way.”

The best part of that is it keeps him from breeding.

After careful consideration, maybe I’ll just keep this face. I’ll get a new mirror.

Speak Your Mind