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The Good Old Days

The Good Old Days

 

I always said I would never get nostalgic as I got older but, today I can’t seem to help myself. I want to talk about a time long ago in my life that some of you may not be aware of. Do you know, at one time I worked as a professional stand-up comedian?

Yes, I know it’s hard to believe. I never became real famous but, I always made a living at it. I really enjoyed it. In the end, I was even teaching classes to help newcomers to the craft advance and learn the skills they needed.

Teaching gave me almost as much gratification as performing. Watching my students improve and become more confident always gave me a sense of pride.

Nothing can ever compare to performing in front of a group of people and making them laugh as hard as they possibly can. Bringing that kind of joy to others brought even a greater sense of bliss to me.

Those were different times. Some of you may have heard about them. People were allowed to go out in large groups. You would sit at tables with strangers that were within six feet of you. You would laugh and drink and possibly even touch each other.

After the show, people would come up and say they had a great time and shake my hand. That’s when another person would put their hand in yours.

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Things are Getting Real

Things are Getting Real

 

I’m writing this while I still have some sanity left. Eventually, this will be nothing but gibberish and then I’ll disappear. You can use your imagination to figure out where I went. Wherever it is, I won’t be the same person. Of course, none of us will be.

Like many of you, I was hoping the two weeks of shut down would be enough and we would go back to normal. In reality, we knew it wasn’t true, but you can hope. I remember seeing some idiot on television saying how it would just disappear like a miracle. I never believe a word that comes out of the guy’s mouth but, I was hoping, maybe this time…

Anyway, we’re all in this together and by in…I mean in. Everything is closed right now. Any place worth going anyway. Do you really look forward to going to Walmart or the pharmacy? Yeah, maybe now, because that’s all we have. Big day out trying not to touch anything or have anybody breathe on you. Good luck having the dimwits at Walmart give you your six feet of social distancing. [Read more…]

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Unemployed Aggravation

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Guardians at the Pot

Guardians at the Pot

 

Suck on it bitches!…Yeah, I know, I don’t normally say things like this, but these aren’t normal times we are living in. The world is shut down for a virus and people are going insane…Not, that most of them weren’t already, but it’s a jungle out there.

With things changing by the second, we don’t know how bad this is going to get. That’s why we have to take precautions. I don’t think anybody needed a gross of eggs or 900 rolls of toilet paper, but some of you idiots…(Very fine people) did.

There’s not a roll of toilet paper to be found on the shelves and they are now limiting paper towels to one package per customer.

So, you’re going to rough it, and I mean rough it. Wow, using paper towels as a substitute to wipe…that particular region…OK, your ass! That means when all the craziness is over, plumbers will be the richest people in the country…You know, with the money they make from unclogging toilets.

I’m guessing “Baby Lotion” will be a big seller as well as you try to soothe the towel burns.

My wife Chrissie, who I love for many reasons, but especially this, took the initiative and ordered us a shipment on Amazon.

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