Bet On It

Bet on It


On Thursday afternoon I drove over to the North Side…sorry, it’s now the “North Shore.” I can’t get used to it. You just don’t think of a river having a shore. Plus, if we’re having the “North Shore,” why isn’t Southside the “South Shore?” Maybe changing the name would cut down on public urination on weekends.

I was going down to the new “Burn” cigar lounge on North Shore Drive…again, can’t get used to it. When I arrived, there was a parking spot right in front. I was expecting to drive around for twenty minutes looking for a space and there it was right in front of where I me.

I couldn’t believe my luck, which immediately disappeared when I went to pay at the parking station. It was 3:30 and I was informed my car would be towed if it was there after 4. The reason was a special event was happening that night.

Do you know what the special event was? The Pirates game starting at 7. In case you don’t remember, the score was 8 to nothing Arizona in the third inning. What kind of special event is that? That’s like I come to your birthday party and spit in your face.

So now, even though I had a space in front of where I was going, I had to move to a lot and pay the fifteen bucks they were squeezing from people about to be disappointed by the Pirates.

I was so aggravated that I did a search to see how much of a profit the Pirates get from this kind of parking scam. That’s when I came across another story of a place where the Pirates are trying to acquire money.

You may not have heard, but the Pirates feel they should be getting a cut, once sports betting is available in Pennsylvania. Pirates President Frank Coonelly, sent a letter to the PA Gaming Control Board stating his case.

Here’s his argument,

“Without professional sports, there can be no professional sports betting.”

Yeah, and without birds, there would be no bird watching. Without water there would be no water-skiing. Without drag queens there would be no…I was going to say drag racing, but that’s not what it is. Although, I may have invented a new sport. Let’s get a bunch of guys to pretty themselves up, put on high heels and a dress, then we race them.

I would watch that, wouldn’t you? Now, there’s a sport to bet on.

“Ten bucks on the one in the pink chiffon with the full beard.”

Coonelly claims that “the “landlord is responsible for capital repair and improvements”. Do you know who the landlord is? It’s us, the taxpayers that helped finance the stadium. However, the Pirates are responsible for maintenance and operational expenses. What, like cleaning the toilets? Turns out, the Pirates don’t know where they’re supposed to get the money to pay for these services. Are we supposed to feel bad and go over and help them out? Remember, it’ll cost you fifteen dollars to park.

This is unbelievable. These guys are always whining they have no money. If it’s killing you, sell the team. The people of Pittsburgh are begging you.

This team is so tight, that to save a few bucks, they are now having the players sing the national anthem. Maybe they can have players’ clean toilets and do maintenance as well. I know they’ll never have them help with bookkeeping.


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