When Dinner Attacks

When Dinner Attacks


We’ve all been attacked by dinner in one way or another. Whether it’s the heartburn from eating something too spicy or the run to the bathroom after digesting something undercooked or spoiled.

Yeah, but how many of us have had Thanksgiving dinner show up in a gang and terrorize the neighborhood?

That’s what’s happening in an over 55 Community called Holiday Town in Toms River, New Jersey. Apparently a large group of wild turkeys have shown up and taken over. They’re a menace and they travel in packs. It’s getting so bad that people are afraid to leave their homes.

You can’t tell me this is a coincidence. With all of the people who believe in crazy conspiracy theories, this ones right in front of your face.

There are people who believe the earth is flat and the moon doesn’t exist. This despite the photos taken of the earth which clearly show its round.

Yeah, but weren’t a lot of those pictures taken form the moon? How can you take a picture from a place that doesn’t exist?

Do you see how you can make this work if you’re insane?

Anyway, let’s look at what we have here. A gang of hostile turkeys show up in a place called Holiday Town…a few weeks before the Thanksgiving…HOLIDAY…

What about Toms River? Tom Turkey… Toms River…do you see what’s happening here? This is no accident.

These turkeys are here to let us know they’re tired of us slaughtering so many of their friends and family this time of year. It might be a good Thanksgiving for the people of Toms River to go Vegan.

So far the turkeys have been pecking cars, biting at people and breaking windows. Can you imagine what will happen if they smell the flesh of a loved one being roasted on Thanksgiving? God help the people of Holiday Town. The carnage will be unspeakable.

For your own good look into alternatives. There’s got to be something out there like,

“Beyond Turkey”

“Impossible Turkey”

“I can’t believe it’s not Butterball”

People of Holiday Town, you’ve been warned. Stay in your homes and lock your doors on Thanksgiving. I wouldn’t want to be the one who discovers the carcass of the first person who ventures outside that day to drop a bird in the deep fryer.

It’s going to be ugly in Toms River on Thanksgiving and that won’t be the end for them. Christmas comes a month later. Do you know what a large group of pigs smells like?

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