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Burial at Sea (Death of the Pirates)

Posted on July 31, 2019 · Leave a Comment

Bury Them at Sea

 

The other day my wife said to me,

“Your birthday is coming up. Do you want to go to the Pirates game?”

“Are you mad at me?”

My first thought was I had done something to piss her off. Why else should anybody be subjected to these 2019 Pittsburgh Pirates?

Fans had some hope last week when Mark Cuban showed up at the game. Maybe he was looking to buy. That dreams been squashed. He’s not interested and the team isn’t for sale. It’s not for sale because they are making money…spending it is another issue.

As always, the season started with management telling us they had put together a contending team capable of going far in the post season. I wasn’t buying it, but that’s what they said. Supposedly, the pitching was really good and would carry them. The only thing the pitching has been good for is opposing players looking to increase their batting average and pad their home run stats.

Ok, they did have a lot of injuries to their starting pitching. If you remember, that was when they went out and signed…absolutely nobody. Are you crazy? They just tried to put things together with duct tape and super glue.

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I”ll Tell You Why

Posted on May 29, 2019 · Leave a Comment

I’ll Tell You Why

 

Last Friday and Saturday I was listening to the local sports radio station. On both days, different announcers were pondering the same question.

“Its fantastic weather, the Pirates have a winning record, they have a player that is something to watch…why isn’t anybody going to the games?”

First of all, nice weather does not necessitate going to the ballpark and blowing a week’s pay on a couple of beers and a hotdog. Second, yes the Pirates had a winning record at the time, but barely and nothing to get excited about.

As for the player, they’re talking about Josh Bell, who is having one of the best seasons for a Pirates player in memory. So, why aren’t we embracing him as fans? Because, we’ve seen this movie before. A good player is going to want to be paid for his services and Pirates owner, Bob “Ka-Ching” Nutting would rather shove that money into his greedy pockets. [Read more…]

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Juice Them Up!

Posted on March 27, 2019 · Leave a Comment

Juice Them Up!

 

Baseball season opens this week and I find myself being a bit nostalgic for the old days. I never wanted to be one of those old guys talking about how things were better when I was younger.

“These guys are nowhere as good as the players I used to watch.”

Problem is, you can’t argue with me about that statement. Guys were way better twenty years ago, it’s not even close…that’s because they were all on steroids!

I miss those days. Guys would come out of the dugout and be twice the size of the other players. When they batted, it looked like King Kong holding a twig. There was always a chance they were going to hit a screeching liner up the middle and leave a hole in the pitcher’s torso. Just like it happens in the cartoons.

Up until the late nineties, only two guys had hit more than sixty homers in a season. The first was Babe Ruth. If you’ve ever seen a picture of the Babe, you know he wasn’t using performance enhancing drugs.

The second was Roger Maris who did it in the sixties before anybody was taking steroids. Players were more into amphetamines then. Amphetamines don’t make you hit the ball farther, they just make you annoying to be around.

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Please Pay No Attention

Posted on February 15, 2019 · Leave a Comment

Please Pay No Attention

 

Pay no attention and stay the hell away! That seems to be the message the Pirates are sending to fans as they head to spring training. Are you hopeful this team is going to compete for a championship? Yeah, me neither.

Oh, you can say they have four good starting pitchers. Problem is you need five starters. They had five but had to do a salary dump on Ivan Nova because he was scheduled to make nine million dollars this year. What team would pay that much for a starting pitcher? Ok, anyone not owned by Bob “Ka-Ching” Nutting.

So now the Pirates will do what they always do and try to find pitching help on the “Island of Misfit Players.” Because, well… you don’t have to pay those guys anything.

Ok, so after they were the only team not to sign a free agent last year, they went out and signed Lonnie Chisenhall this off season. The minute I heard this I immediately went online to try to order my World Series tickets…Lonnie…Lonnie…Lonnie!!!

Then the Pirates went out and signed Nick Franklin…I have no idea who he is either. Oh, and they are bringing Francisco Liriano back from the dead. Not only is he cheap, but they probably still have a couple of cases of his bobble heads left over from last time he was here. Ka-Ching!

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Ok, I Was There.

Posted on August 21, 2018 · Leave a Comment

Ok, I Was There.

 

I have a confession to make. This past Sunday afternoon, my wife and I attended the Pirates game. I know, I’ve been preaching to stay away until Nutting sells the team and have done my part and stayed away for two years.

They actually made some bold moves at the trade deadline for a change and I decided to give them the benefit of a doubt. The dwindling attendance definitely forced their hand on making moves. I was preparing to write a story called “Nutty Nuttings Everything Must Go Sale!”

You know the original plan was to get rid of any veteran making decent money and not under contract beyond next year…Cervelli, Harrison, Dickerson, Mercer, Freese, Nova, maybe Vasquez (The Player formerly known as Rivero.)

Then The Pirates screwed ownership by winning 11 in a row right before the deadline. Attendance has been dropping for three years and making those trades would have had fans showing up with pitchforks and torches.

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