Speeders Anonymous

Speeders Anonymous


Originally, I was going to call this “Confessions of a Speed Addict.” Then I realized it would sound like I was talking about a drug addiction. Do they even call it speed anymore? That used to be the term for amphetamines. Do they even have regular amphetamines anymore? Or is it only the meth kind? I guess I’m too far removed from the drug culture, not that it’s a bad thing.

Amphetamines were originally supposed to be diet pills. You would lose weight because you couldn’t sit still or shut your mouth. You can’t eat if you can’t stop talking to the point of annoyance. Also, your racing heart beat burned off a lot of calories.

What I’m talking about is the need to exceed the speed limit when I drive. I know there are others out there like me and I think we need to get together for meetings to help each other.

I’ve decided to kick this nasty habit and start obeying the speed limits. My reason is, I caught a lucky break today. I challenged a recent speeding ticket in court today and won. Well, I was ready to throw myself on the mercy of the court and ask for leniency. Tell them how valuable I am to the community and it was a mistake that I will live to regret. My shame and guilt should be punishment enough.

The officer who gave me the ticket didn’t show up, so the Magistrate wished me “Happy Thanksgiving” and dismissed me. I will have to save my speech for another time…No, there won’t be another time. I’m going to kick this habit!

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Is This Really A Convenience? (Flying Pittsburgh to Latrobe)

Is This Really A Convenience?

(Flying Pittsburgh to Latrobe)


A story came on the local news the other night about a new airline coming into Pittsburgh and adding three daily nonstop flights from Pittsburgh to Latrobe. Really? There’s that big of a demand to fly from Pittsburgh to Latrobe?

Hey, I’m not knocking Latrobe here. All I’m saying is it seems like there are easier ways to get there. You know, like driving. I live near the airport so I did a Google Map search and it said it was 48 miles from here to Latrobe. Do you really need to fly that distance? What are you trying to load up your frequent flyer miles?

Its 48 miles each way! You’d have to take about 300 round trips before you had enough miles to use for a reward ticket. I also like the fact they mentioned the flights would be non-stop. Where the hell are you going to stop?

“Hello, this is your Captain. We will be on our way to Latrobe in just a few minutes here. Along the way, I have to stop off and pick up my dry cleaning. After that we will head straight to Latrobe.”

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Not Cool.

Not Cool


I always liked to think I was cool when I was younger. People told me I was cool without me soliciting an opinion. Even up until recently, I still felt like I was a cool guy. You may disagree, but that doesn’t matter. If I’m cool in my mind, then I’m cool. That all changed this week. Here’s my story.

My wife was involved in a minor traffic accident recently. Nothing major, she was yielding at an intersection and waiting to merge over, when some idiot hit her from behind. His explanation was that he wasn’t looking in that direction.

I don’t know what they’re teaching in driver’s education these days. When I took it, we were taught that you should look in the direction your vehicle is moving. In this case, when moving forward, look at what’s in front of you! He probably had an important text to send and looking where he was going wasn’t a priority at the time. [Read more…]