Archives for October 2019
The Hated Man
The Hated Man
As a lifelong Pirates fan, it was depressing to watch as they lost year after year. Then, as the worst team in baseball, they always drafted first and made a habit of drafting somebody projected for the later rounds, (Remember Daniel Markos?) It was like they wanted to draft mediocrity, so they could pay less salaries.
Then, one year with the number one pick, they took Gerritt Cole. He was a stud pitcher, I remember thinking, this guy could become the best pitcher in the game and pitch in the World Series someday.
Tonight, my thoughts are true. Gerritt Cole is the best pitcher in the game and is starting game one of the World Series. Of course, not for the Pirates. You have to pay great players and that money is better served in the greedy, slimy pockets of team owner, Bob (Ka-Ching) Nutting.
Cole was traded a few years ago for mediocre players…because, mediocrity costs less. So Gerritt Cole will start game one for the Houston Astros and the Pirates are one of the worst teams in baseball with no hope in sight.
It doesn’t matter as long as Bob Nutting can make a profit and yell
“Ka-Ching!”
Attendance at Pirate games has dropped tremendously in the past few years.
Nutting doesn’t care, he just decreases the payroll.
“Ka-Ching!”
Wedding From Hell
Wedding From Hell
Since we’re getting close to Halloween I figured I would base these articles on things that are frightening, scary and horrifying…yeah, I guess they’re all pretty much the same thing. But, could I get you to shell out twenty-five bucks admission to my haunted house or mansion if it was only one of those?
We were invited to a wedding…I won’t tell you if they were friends, family, what side of the family…because I will probably see these people again.
The Catholic Mass started at 4 o’clock. Yes, I know the words Catholic and Mass are scary together. Did you not see what I’m doing here?
You kind of have to attend the mass. You can’t just show up for the fun part and not expect people to bad mouth you. That’s where they get you.
Anyway, if you’ve ever sat through a Catholic Mass, you know they are usually long and boring. This one did not disappoint. Not only did we have to deal with the usual rituals…You know, the standing, kneeling, occasional sitting, listening to people with horrible voices sing, shaking hands with strangers…applying Purel…
What made this different, was this Priest thought he was entertaining. I’ve been in the presence of an occasional Priest with a sense of humor. They are few and far between…This guy was really far between.
On the few occasions as an adult when I am forced to attend Mass, I always appreciate it when they can keep it under an hour. Fifty minutes, say goodnight and leave them wanting more.
This guy stretched the Mass out to one hour twenty minutes…and it wasn’t a good hour and twenty. He started telling this story about a woman he knows or used to know…I can’t tell you, I blanked out right away.
I blame the few people who chuckled at something he said early on. I don’t know if they were pity laughs or if they thought this guy actually works for God and were kissing up. They couldn’t have thought he was funny.
Christmas Parties
YOU CAN GET IN TOUCH WITH ME THROUGH THE CONTACT BUTTON.
At Least We’re Not Cleveland
At Least We’re Not Cleveland
Things aren’t looking to good right now here in Pittsburgh. We expect the Steelers to be in the Super Bowl every year. We expect the Penguins to win the Stanley Cup every year. As far as the Pirates…we expect the Steelers to win the Super Bowl every year.
The Steelers are off to a 1-4 start and things aren’t getting any easier with a trip to the west coast this week to play whoever the hell the San Diego Chargers are these days.
Not only that, but they will be starting the quarterback, who backs up the quarterback, who backs up the quarterback. If this guy gets hurt, I think I’m playing…Don’t be booing me right away. I’ll give it my best shot.
You’re probably depressed. You think there’s nothing that can cheer you up. You’re giving up on life…
“Just stop that crazy talk right now!”
I know what you need. Something to focus on…something to get you through these difficult times. What you need is a mantra. Something to give you positive vibes and send good feelings through your soul…Ok, say this with me,
“At least we’re not Cleveland.”
Doesn’t that feel better? Now say it again,
“At least we’re not Cleveland.”
