Archives for May 2019
I”ll Tell You Why
I’ll Tell You Why
Last Friday and Saturday I was listening to the local sports radio station. On both days, different announcers were pondering the same question.
“Its fantastic weather, the Pirates have a winning record, they have a player that is something to watch…why isn’t anybody going to the games?”
First of all, nice weather does not necessitate going to the ballpark and blowing a week’s pay on a couple of beers and a hotdog. Second, yes the Pirates had a winning record at the time, but barely and nothing to get excited about.
As for the player, they’re talking about Josh Bell, who is having one of the best seasons for a Pirates player in memory. So, why aren’t we embracing him as fans? Because, we’ve seen this movie before. A good player is going to want to be paid for his services and Pirates owner, Bob “Ka-Ching” Nutting would rather shove that money into his greedy pockets. [Read more…]
In Memory of the Fish Bar
In Memory of the Fish Bar
We called it the “Fish Bar.” It was tucked into the back of the Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas. I don’t know who came up with the name “Fish Bar.” We called it that because of the fake aquarium with ceramic fish that was hanging on the wall behind the bar.
The bartenders used to tell us about the customers who would ask if it was a real aquarium. The fish never moving should give it away.
“It’s amazing how still they are.”
“Yeah, no more for you…You’ve had enough to drink.”
This was our meeting place after our shows.
“I’m going to get changed and I’ll meet you at the Fish Bar.”
False Advertising
False Advertising
As the truck was coming down the street, I could feel my heart beating excitedly. I hadn’t felt like this since I was a kid and I could hear the music from the Good Humor truck arriving. Right there on the side of the truck, it told me all I needed to know.
“Weed Man”
Finally, they’re bringing it around in trucks like ice cream. This will make life so much easier. There has been so much talk about the benefits of CBD oil. Not only that but how medical marijuana can cure anything from aches and pain to depression. Imagine what it could do for aggravation. I figured it was time to try it for the first time.
Ok, maybe not the first time. I tried it once but didn’t exhale…because you’re supposed to hold it in your lungs…OK, sorry about that. That was too easy. I can’t be the first to come up with that awful line. I apologize.
Anyway, I approached the Weed Man and said,
“I’ll take an eighth, quarter if you have it.”
He looked at me kind of strange and said,
“This is a lawn service.”
“Then, wouldn’t that make you the Lawn Man?”
I could tell by the funny way he kept staring at me, something was up. He was probably thinking,
“No way, Narc!”
