Yeah, Spring This!

Yeah, Spring This!


Spring arrives at 4:48 this afternoon. I don’t know how they come up with the exact time. I don’t think they do either. Anyway, are you excited? Yeah, well I’m dancing in my shorts over here. Yes, that’s sarcasm. I’m miserable and tired of winter.

It would be nice if at the time spring’s supposed to arrive everything would come into bloom and the temperatures would go into the 70’s, but that’s not happening.

Remember back on February 2, when the rodent predicted an early spring? What the hell happened? We had one day in the 70’s last Thursday and then I drove through snow flurries two days later. One day doesn’t count as an early spring.

If you were this wrong at your job, you would have been fired a long time ago. How can you be so bad? I haven’t seen incompetence like this since I read about the girl who worked at a clothing store and gave a guy change for a thirty.

All this groundhog has to do is crawl out of the ground…Ok, they light a fire under his ass and force him out…but, once a year he just has to predict the weather. Actually just see or not see his shadow. Even the girl who changed a thirty dollar bill could do that.

Ok, so the local forecasters are wrong at least fifty percent of the time. Remember the big snow they predicted in January for a Saturday. Five inches or more…with the emphasis on more. All we got was a day of rain but, I couldn’t find eggs, bread, milk or toilet paper at the supermarket for a week.

As far ahead as I have seen, temperatures will be in the low forty’s and fifty’s. That’s not spring. Just more of the winter that won’t end. Hopefully it’s not as bad as last year when I would cut grass on one day and shovel snow the next. Which led to my invention of the snow mower.

Maybe the forecasters will be wrong and spring will show up on time. I remember a few years back I was in Chicago when fall arrived. The day before I was at the hotel pool and that night it got windy and temperatures fell into the thirty’s. Of course, that’s Chicago. They have a bigger budget for those kinds of effects.

As you read this, I’m on my way to Punxsutawney. That groundhog is going to be good for something. It’s supposed to be in the 40’s with snow flurries on Friday. A nice groundhog stew should hit the spot. I originally planned on groundhog burgers, but it’s going to be too damn cold to grill.

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