Worst Ever

Worst Ever


Admit it, the Super Bowl sucked. I couldn’t have been more bored if I was watching “The Bachelor” marathon. First of all it was New England again, for I believe the twentieth straight year. The Rams looked like they didn’t belong there…probably because they didn’t belong there.

The commercials were boring, the half-time show was a joke…it was awful. No Danny DeVito as an M&M challenging people to eat him. No Lady Gaga flying in from the top of the stadium…Nothing but the Rams punting.

Even in blow out games, at least one team was at least scoring or there was a decent half-time show with costume malfunctions.

My friend Mark Petrucelli suggested bringing back “Up With People” for the half-time show. Would you have noticed the difference?

If you’re unaware of “Up With People,” they’re a bunch of clean cut kids singing crappy upbeat songs with a positive message. How could that have been worse than Maroon 5?

One of my favorite stories from another comedian is a guy who was in “Up With People” and did the half-time show while tripping on acid. Come on, you’re in “Up With People,” on acid, doing the half-time show at the Super Bowl. Try to top that on any bucket list.

Instead of figuring out which NFC team will play the Patriots next year, they should base the game on the most entertaining team. In that case, I’d like to present your Pittsburgh Steelers.

Once they were a highly regarded organization and now a traveling circus. Let’s just look at this past season. The star running back decided fourteen and a half million bucks wasn’t enough and spent the season riding a jet-ski instead.

The franchise quarterback, threw more teammates under the bus than he threw passes to the opposition and the star receiver decide to quit and pursue his dream of being a singing hippopotamus.

A team like that would be entertaining. Even if nothing was happening on the field, the sideline blow-ups would be worth tuning in. Every commercial would be for anti-anxiety medications. Imaging how you could use a dog or a pony in those? Not to mention, Danny DeVito.

“You don’t want to eat me…then bite me!”

I’m sure the NFL won’t listen to me and we’ll be stuck watching New England and some garbage team once again…Hey, maybe they can have a hippopotamus sing the national anthem.

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