Who Cares

Who Cares?


It’s supposed to be a bonus holiday. Even if you’re teams not in it, you have an excuse to drink and stuff your face with chicken wings, pizza and nachos. A much needed day to break up the brutal months of January and February.

Not this year though. I have no interest in this game. I’m tired of watching New England every year. Of course their obnoxious fans aren’t tired of this. When you can make Philadelphia fans seem like decent human beings, you’re despicable.

Maybe you’ll be watching the game to root against the Patriots, like we do most years. This year you’ll be cheering on the Los Angeles Rams, which is more than they’ll be doing in L.A.

These are a different kind of obnoxious fan because, they really don’t care. The Rams left and went to St. Louis, nobody cared. The Rams moved back to L.A., no one gave a damn…Oh, they were upset in St. Louis, but nobody was celebrating on the west coast.

They have no emotional investment in the teams out there. When we lived there, we would go to Dodger games a few times a year. People would show up in the third inning and leave immediately after the seventh. This was no matter if the game was close, tied, somebody was pitching a no-hitter…seven innings and gone.

Everyone would leave at that time to beat traffic. If you were sitting up top, you could look out over the outfield grandstand and see the gridlock caused be all the people trying to beat the traffic. After the game, we would zip right out.

One memorable evening, a guy in front of us watched a floating napkin for three innings. It got caught in an updraft. When it looked like it was finally going to have its final decent, the wind would blow it back up. For three innings this idiot payed no attention to the game, but was mesmerized by the floating napkin.


He kept whooing at the floating napkin and we laughed at him behind his back. I think somebody sitting behind us saw this and turned it into a reality show.

“Watch the Floating Napkin. Tonight on Fox.”

Oh, there will be Super Bowl parties all over Los Angeles, because it’s the thing to do. People will go out and buy expensive Ram’s gear to wear and then show up at a catered event at someone’s house.

There will be foods that wouldn’t be served at Super Bowl parties anywhere else in the country. People will arrive and say things like,

“Nice TV, what is that a 65 inch? We have one of those too. Well, we needed to get something small for the kitchen area.

That’s what they do. Insult you, while building themselves up. The game will be nothing but background noise. Everyone will be lost in conversation. Well, the kind of conversation they have out there anyway.

One person will be telling you how wonderful they are. Nobody in the rest of the group is listening though because they’re waiting for their turn to talk about themselves.

At some point late in the evening, someone will glance at the television and see it’s inevitable the Rams are going to lose. They will then act like they are disappointed and then go right back to talking about how they are executive producer of “Mooshy Loves Stinky.”

It’s at that moment in Pittsburgh, every television will be shut off or the channel changed. Nobody here is going to watch them hand Tom Brady a sixth Super Bowl Trophy. Makes you sick, doesn’t it? I should’ve watched the napkin show instead.


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