What Happened To Me?

What Happened To Me?


This never would’ve happened when I was younger. I didn’t take crap from anybody. It didn’t matter how big or how many, I wasn’t backing down. Looking back on it, testosterone was probably replacing brain cells. If I had taken time to think about the situation, I could have avoided quite a few severe beatings.

It may have been the town where I grew up or my ex-Marine father, but for some reason, I wasn’t going to be bullied. That’s what makes it so much harder to accept now. I don’t remember when it started. If I had noticed, I may have done something to stop it. Too late now though, the momentum is too great to stop.

What bothers me most, is that I’m getting pushed around by somebody 7 inches shorter than me, not to mention my weight advantage. But, there’s nothing I can do. I don’t know why I even try to stand up for myself. She just ignores me and does whatever the hell she wants.

One night last week she came home and announced,

“I’m tired of coming home and looking at the same thing every day.”

Hey, I can take a hint. I started packing immediately. Then she stopped me and explained she was talking about rearranging the furniture. I told her I liked it the way it was and then wondered why I even opened my mouth.

She started talking about how the sofa would look better here and that table would look better there and how we needed “feng shui.” I had heard about “feng shui,” but didn’t really know what it was.

It turns out it’s a way of bringing positive energy into a room or your home. You want a room that makes you want to stay there. Ok, I had a comfortable chair, a football game on television and a refrigerator within ten or fifteen steps. Why am I leaving?

So, I told her we should think about it and then made the mistake of leaving town for three days to do shows. When I returned, the deed was done. She was proud of moving everything by herself. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, it was the only way it was going to happen.

Then she told me to go check out the bathroom. Not only had she rearranged the living room, but she had purchased accessories that made…how can I describe this?…It’s like someone drank a magic potion and vomited Santa’s workshop in our bathroom.

There’s a Santa toilet cover and bath mat. Then the shower curtain with Santa and what looks like Rudolph. I feel like I’m being stared at the whole time I’m sitting there. It’s been a very binding experience. There’s nothing comfortable or positive about this room. “Feng Shui” my ass!

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