Do You Feel Lucky, Punk?
Do You Feel Lucky, Punk?
We’re you sitting in your lucky seat? Were you wearing your lucky shirt? It didn’t seem to help last night. The Penguins still lost and are now down 2 games to 1. Now, you have to pull out the big guns, the ones that you save for moments like these.
Maybe, you eat your chips with a certain hand…or only eat a certain size of chip. If they’re broken, leave them in the bowl. You don’t want the team to lose because you ate a handful of crumbs.
You probably already plan to change seats, shirts, socks…Oh, and thank you for that…Fans have weird superstitions. They like to think they’re actions somehow affect the outcome of the game. [Read more…]
Not Cool.
Not Cool
I always liked to think I was cool when I was younger. People told me I was cool without me soliciting an opinion. Even up until recently, I still felt like I was a cool guy. You may disagree, but that doesn’t matter. If I’m cool in my mind, then I’m cool. That all changed this week. Here’s my story.
My wife was involved in a minor traffic accident recently. Nothing major, she was yielding at an intersection and waiting to merge over, when some idiot hit her from behind. His explanation was that he wasn’t looking in that direction.
I don’t know what they’re teaching in driver’s education these days. When I took it, we were taught that you should look in the direction your vehicle is moving. In this case, when moving forward, look at what’s in front of you! He probably had an important text to send and looking where he was going wasn’t a priority at the time. [Read more…]
Song of the Symptoms
Song of the Symptoms
Let me apologize in advance. I was trying to come up with something to write about and that stupid “Pepto Bismol” commercial came on TV. You know the one where they sing about the five symptoms it cures…Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion…Upset Stomach, Diarrhea. You’ve probably seen it. Maybe you didn’t pay attention. I didn’t think I was and now I can’t get the stupid song out of my head.
Then I started thinking about how the whole thing came about. I’ve written a few commercials…and am available if you want to do something funny to promote your brand…Do you see how I gave myself a little plug there?
Anyway, there must have been a meeting. Probably the original was between executives trying to decide how to promote their product. You know men in suits without a creative bone in their bodies. It probably went something like,
Snow Mower
This year, we can’t seem to make it to Spring. 80 degrees and cutting grass one day and snowing the next. That’s why I think everyone needs a Snow Mower. Just send your payment of $349 dollars here, plus $500 shipping, and receive your Snow Mower in time to cut grass and shovel snow at the same time….Allow 6 weeks. That’s what the groundhog keeps saying anyway.
