No Intelligent Life

No Intelligent Life


I only had three items so I headed for the express self-checkout lanes. With only three things I had every right to be in a lane reserved for fifteen items or fewer. Although those words don’t stop a lot of people.

There was a woman with four items and a guy holding a gallon of milk in line ahead of me. As soon as I got in line behind them, they moved up to the check out. Right then I was thinking,

“I’ll be out of here in no time.”

I should know better. I’m constantly telling my wife to assume everyone you see is a complete idiot and if they’re not, you can be pleasantly surprised.

My eyes were on the guy with the milk since he only had the one item and was at the machine closest to me. I would estimate his age to be around 65 so this couldn’t be his first time using self-check-out…and he only has the milk.

You have to scan your card first before you can scan an item and in fact it explains that to you when you step up to the machine.

“Please scan your Giant Eagle Advantage card.”

I look up to see this guy swiping his card where we used to swipe our bank or credit cards before they had the chip. I thought to myself,

“That’s odd, I didn’t know you could do it that way.”

Then he scanned the milk and…

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