The Special People

The Special People

 

I’ve always considered myself just an average normal person. I don’t expect special treatment, no matter the circumstances. Lately however, I’ve noticed how I’m surrounded by the privileged people. They don’t have to follow the rules that apply to the rest of us.

Last week, I was behind a car…actually it was a big SUV. The kind people buy because they’re good in the snow. Of course any vehicle is OK in the snow if you’re only going two miles an hour. You know, the way these idiots drive their SUV’s.

Anyway, I’m behind this person at the red light. When the light turned green, no movement. I gave them the benefit of the doubt for a moment. After they still weren’t moving, I tapped my horn as a little courtesy reminder. After they still didn’t move, I hit the horn a little longer…I may have put down my window and told them the light was green…OK, maybe not in those exact words.

Well, as they finally began moving forward…because that’s what you do at a green light, a woman’s arm came out of the driver’s side window and gave me the finger. I guess I didn’t give her time to finish her text.

That’s when I yelled out an apology…well, it started off with “I’m Sorry…” There may have been some profanity mixed in with my sincere regret. The nicest things that came out of my mouth after “I’m sorry,” may have been “Moron” and “Jackass!” I didn’t realize I was dealing with a special person at the time.

The only time I go anywhere near the Sewickley Bridge at rush hour is when I’m on my way to one of the classes I teach. From where I live, the left lane waiting to go across the bridge, can take twenty minutes just to go half a mile to get on the bridge.

I have an alternative route…Yeah, like I’m telling you so you can tell everyone and back me up that way.

My way involves getting into the right lane, the one that’s moving, and get beyond the jam. The other day when I was going that direction, I had to stop behind a person in the right lane with their left turn signal on. They decided to drive up to the front of the line and cut in front of everyone. See, they don’t have to wait like the rest of us. They’re special people.

Let’s just say there was no horn tap here. Again, here comes the finger, from a guy this time. I can only hope it was his wife or sister in the SUV at the green light so they could compare notes.

“Did he call you a…”

“Yeah, me too.”

The third special person I’ve encountered was at the drug store. I was in line waiting to pick up a prescription. When the pharmacist said

“Next”

A woman jumped in front of me.

“Excuse me, I was next.”

“I didn’t know you were in line.”

“What did you think? That I was just standing here staring into space like an idiot? You might see that a lot at your family gatherings, but some of us are able to function as human beings.”

She just stood there giving me a dirty look. Couldn’t have been anything I said. I didn’t even curse. I think she was upset because I wouldn’t let her go before me. She’s special after all.

I guess I just don’t know what it’s like to be special…Of course, I don’t know what it’s like to be a total asshole either. Kind of the same thing when you think about it.