The Big Storm?


The Big Storm?


January 19, 2019


I’m hand writing this by candlelight. This is a result of the power outage caused by the snow storm raging outside. Hopefully it will be days and not weeks before the power is restored and I will be able to post this online. Thankfully we have enough milk, eggs, bread and toilet paper to get us through until June.

Yeah right…what a rip off! It was all we heard for a week. The big storm coming at us for the weekend. No weather person would go on record and tell us exactly how much snow we would get. Only that it was going to be a lot.

“We’re going to get at least this much and maybe more.”

I should’ve realized from all the sleazy club owners I’ve worked for through the years. You never get the more.

So with the big storm coming Saturday, the stores were packed with panicked shoppers on Friday. Everybody was stocking up with enough supplies to last until summer when we could once again leave our homes. Can you explain why in the hell anybody has to buy rolls of toilet paper by the gross?

I don’t understand why its bread, eggs, milk and toilet paper that people feel they need. If I’m going to be stuck inside for a few days, I may as well enjoy myself. That’s why I buy donuts and alcohol and chips and alcohol. Oh, and more alcohol.

So as we hunkered down for snowmageddon, all we got was rain. Which we get almost every day around here. I saw one weather man try to justify it by saying,

“If that had been snow, we would have gotten eight inches.”

Yeah, and if I bought the winning Power Ball ticket, I would be a millionaire. But neither of those happened.

Think about it. Meteorologist is one of the few jobs you can be consistently wrong and not get fired. If you were a doctor and went into remove an appendix and accidentally took out the guy’s heart, it would be a major blemish against your reputation.

I guess we should be thankful they were wrong on predicting more and we got less. This means they owe us a make up call. Like the refs owe the Saints. Oh, I guess that’s another job where you can be wrong all the time.

So, the next time the weather person is calling for a light dusting, I’ll expect to get buried. In the meantime, what the hell am I supposed to do with all of this toilet paper?

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