Sorry For the Inconvenience
All I was trying to do was go over to visit my mother. I saw the sign “Road Work Ahead.” Then another sign, “One Lane Road Ahead.” Why don’t they just put one sign?
“You’re Screwed.”
The cars ahead of me were being waved through so I sped up. The girl with the sign must have noticed me trying to make it because she hurriedly turned the sign from slow to stop…Remember, “You’re Screwed.”
I could see by the look on her face that she wasn’t too thrilled that I was there either. You know, if no traffic was coming in either direction, she could just smoke her cigarette in peace, without having to hold that stupid sign. I guess I should feel bad for making her do her job.
The entrance to my mother’s plan was only about 200 feet ahead. I could have walked ten times as I sat waiting for the sign to turn back to “Slow.”
It felt like fifteen minutes and two cigarettes later when I finally was able to move the few yards up the hill and enter the plan.
I’m not sure who was responsible for the road block, but I think it’s the gas company. They’ve been making a mess of that area for what seems like a decade now.
The real problem was getting out of the plan as I was leaving. I pulled up to the exit and a guy with a cigarette told me to stop. You would think one of the rules of working near exposed gas lines would be “No Smoking.” Of course what do I know?
As I sat in my car waiting to make a right, another car was trying to enter the plan from the road. It wouldn’t have been a problem if some idiot hadn’t parked their car blocking the lane.
The guy controlling traffic…well, supposedly…Anyway, he waved his cigarette at me and told me to back up and pull over so this car could get in.
“We wouldn’t have this problem if you had told that moron not to park his car right there.”
“That’s my car.”
“Like I was saying.”
The other car got tired of waiting and ended up just going straight. Probably to look for a new house that’s easier to get to.
I got the signal to pull back forward.
He wasn’t giving me the go ahead sign and then looked at me angrily and asked,
“Are you going somewhere?”
No, I just want to sit here and enjoy you’re second hand smoke. What does he mean “Am I going somewhere?” Isn’t that what cars are for?
“I’m trying to get home.”
“You don’t have your turn signal on.”
“I had it on before you made me back up. Can’t you remember all the wonderful time we’ve spent together?”
I put on my right signal and he set me free. As I passed him I bid him farewell.
“Sorry to inconvenience you…asshole!”
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