Valentine’s Day is coming up. I view it as another made up holiday where we are forced to buy people things. Another day to aggravate me. So, why do a lot of single people feel extra lonely around this time? Count the money in your wallet and cheer up!

My wife and I have been together for as long as I can remember. One of the advantages of getting older is you don’t remember like you used to.

It’s not the perfect marriage but we make it work. Mainly because we both realize nobody else could put up with either one of us. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be single…OK, I imagine it all the time. We all need dreams to keep us going.

It’s a whole new world now. We didn’t have dating apps, we had to rely on bars to find our perfect match. You drank enough to get up the courage to ask a girl for her phone number. If she gave you an actual number, you sweated it out on the way to pick her up for your first date.

Does she look as good as she did when I was drinking? If not it was,

“The movie I want to see is playing in another state.”

Ok, so women said that to me…Shut Up!

I started looking into some of the different dating apps that are now available…its research for this article. Get your mind out of the gutter.

The one that really caught my attention was something called “Refrigerdating.” I’m not making this up, I wish I was but I’m not. No, you don’t date inside of a freezer. What it is, you take a picture of the contents of your refrigerator and you meet the love of your life that way…No, seriously.

Seems ridiculous, doesn’t it? What’s going to stop men from lying about the size of their unit?

Why can’t I come up with some app or dating site that preys on the weak and gullible? Maybe I could fix people up based on the grime inside their bathtub. I should look it up. That one’s probably already taken.

This was all for fun, just something to write about and then I saw her.

I never thought I would leave my wife for another woman, but look at her. What man could resist?

Oh sure, you’re saying I’m only seeing what’s on the inside. I don’t know what’s on the outside. In my mind I’m picturing her doors are filled with menus for wings, pizzas and hoagies. We’re going to be so happy together.

What’s that you say, what if she’s a vegan?

I don’t care. Once the beer is gone we can live on…we can live on…We’re sure as hell not going to live on tofu, I can tell you that.

Who am I kidding, I’m not going anywhere. I can’t be chasing strange fridge, no matter how cold they look. In a moment of weakness, I almost gave in to my thirst.

So I’ll stay with my wife and we’ll be happy together. I just hope she never realizes every time I look in the refrigerator, I’ll be fantasizing about another woman.

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