Why Don’t You Like Me?

Why Don’t You Like Me?

 

Are you actually reading this? Did you click all the way through? I put the “Nude Beach” sign as my attention getter. Just wanted to see how many of you are actually paying attention. I figure that one may lure you in. Hoping to see naked pictures…Oh, hopefully you weren’t trying to see naked pictures of me.

If you were you’re sick and need help. I don’t even like to see myself naked anymore. I’ve learned to shower in the dark and do it all on sense of touch…I don’t even like touching myself anymore…OK, that sounds worse than I meant it to…

Anyway, I notice when I put up photos, people pay more attention. Videos get some hits, but it’s like you people don’t have two minutes of your life to commit to something. Are we really that busy?

I just noticed a trend. If I write something or post a video, I get a lot less response than a photo. Obviously, we live in a world where we need visual stimulation.

Here’s an example. One night I made a pizza. That’s right ladies, I can cook and never turn on the lights when I’m naked…Sorry, I’m taken…My wife made me put that in.

Anyway, I’m not somebody that normally posts pictures of food, but this came out looking so damn good, I had to take a picture and show the world. Next thing I know, I have about a million likes…OK, it wasn’t a million…but, it was more than I get for columns I write.

Now, I’m not trying to make this one of those…

“Let’s see who my true friends are…”

As soon as a post starts like that I just say,

“I guess not me…”

And move on.

You know the ones, where they say if you’re a true friend you will read the crap all the way to the end. Then instead of sharing it, you’re only a true friend if you copy it….Then have it tattooed on your ass!

“If I see this on your ass, I will know we are true friends.”

I’m not asking you to do that. Just “Like” and “Share”…Everything I do! If not, I’ll start posting naked pictures of myself…with the lights on. Why not? Halloween is coming.