Seems Kind of High

Seems Kind of High

 

Launching next year, Disney World in Florida is introducing a new Stars Wars Adventure…I guess it’s actually just a hotel…for your…I adventure. You know, if the adventure you’re looking for is getting ripped off.

For a mere $4200.00 for two nights…calm down, that’s for 2 people…Of course, it costs more if you bring the kids. Meals are included, although not alcohol. I kind of think if I was spending a couple grand a night on a hotel room, I would need some alcohol. Can only add to the whole adventure experience. At least make it more daring.

The rooms look pretty standard, just made up a little bit to look like the inside of a space capsule. Kind of like the way you had your bedroom made up when you were nine.

I should mention that the windows look out into space. The big problem with that is you’re not in space. You’re in Orlando. They’ve just wallpapered over the trash dump that is actually outside your window.

They also mention you get television from your own planet. How can they do that you ask? Well, you’ve never left your home planet. What part of you’re in Orlando are you not getting?

You will get to experience a Star Wars adventure, which I’m guessing will be kind of lame. I mean, how menacing will the Storm Troopers be without their helmets and shields? They won’t be able to wear them because it’s in Florida and the Governor doesn’t want anybody to wear a mask.

The price seems kind of high to me. Even if the food is included. For that kind of money they should be serving you actual “Roast Wookie.”

For a lot less, you can have a more exciting adventure. It’ll be more realistic as well.

First, find a hotel with more than twenty floors and book a room on the top. Now your room looks out at the sky…you know, actual space. Then ask the people at the front desk have jumped off the roof.

“Quite a few more since the “Star Wars Adventure” opened.

Yeah, I know, what about some escapades. You’re in Orlando, the middle of Florida. Before Disney this was trailer trash central. These were the people who couldn’t afford to live in a trailer near the ocean.

Those people are still there.

Take a drive fifteen or twenty minutes outside of Disney and walk into the shadiest looking tavern you can find.

The group of rednecks, hicks and lunkheads will make the Bar scene from Star Wars seem like “Sesame Street.”

Do you still want to experience a fight with Storm Troopers? Just walk in and announce that you’re pro-vaccine and voted for Biden.

If you live through it, think of the money you saved. Glad I could help.