Closed For Repairs

Closed For Repairs

 

There will be no post today…ok, I guess in actuality, this is a post. We’re under construction. Actually the site is fine. It’s me that needs repairs. I’m currently under a great deal of pain.

OK, I don’t have the flu, so you can shake my hand. You don’t have to if you don’t want to…I don’t see why you wouldn’t. What did I do to you?

What it is…I’m in a lot of pain right now. Either broken rib or rib cage pull. My doctor, who I went to see yesterday…Oh, and that’s another thing…I still feel violated from my yearly prostate probe. Those take a while to get out of your head.

I mean, I hardly know the guy and there he is. Violating my manhood. The first time I cried for days, but I guess you learn to live with it.

Anyway, my doctor seems to feel that I pulled something in my ribcage. I’d like to tell you I did this while at the gym or doing something athletic. If not trying to get away from my doctor when he put on his rubber glove.

It’s not even a rubber glove by the way, which would be better. They have a rubber finger thing they put on…and then lube.

“We both know this is going to happen. My advice is just relax and enjoy.”

Now, I’m crying again.

The truth is, I injured myself falling…not down but up the stairs. I was walking up the steps in my slippers…and one of them slipped. I guess that’s how they got the name. So then, I took a header into a table.

As a child you fall all the time. It’s a natural part of life. As an adult, when you’re falling it keeps going through your head,

“I can’t believe I’m falling. And why did the doctor do that to me?”

So, as a result of my idiocy…I mean, it’s not like I’m trying to say the wheel was invented before the wall…But, as a result, there will be no post today.