Black and Blue and Cyber

Some of you may be old enough to remember when we celebrated a national holiday called Thanksgiving. That day has now been replaced by a shopping day with people hunting down the biggest bargains. I think they were calling it “Black Friday” preview. Which is kind of like going to the movies for the coming attractions.

How much are people saving that they are willing to forgo Thanksgiving dinner? Of course I forgot to mention the added bonus of having a store employee, with nothing better to do on a holiday than tell you where you can find the two for one sale on boxer briefs.

If the sales were so good on Thanksgiving, why did I get bombarded with e-mails about sales for days after? Any place I’d ever made a purchase from was sending e-mails about the latest sale. OK, most were from Cigar shops…but there were enough others for it to become aggravating.

First it was “Black Friday Preview.” Then the actual “Black Friday.” Then “Black Friday” prices were extended through Saturday. Then the “Black Saturday” prices came back around on Sunday.

It didn’t end there. Monday became “Cyber Monday.” That’s where you could get great deals online. It wasn’t over yet because there was a “Cyber Tuesday.” Then it was “What are You Waiting For” Wednesday.

Thursday was “Gray Thursday,” I think because it rained. Then it was “Black Friday 2, Friday’s Revenge.” Friday is back and more insane than ever!

They couldn’t suck me in with all the hype, but that didn’t keep the amazon deliveries from coming to my house. There were cars and trucks making deliveries all week. That’s still the way it’s done, although everything will be delivered by drone. That’ll make life more exciting. Imagine going out to get the mail and getting smacked in the face by the “Futzuki” you ordered from television.

I thought my wife was getting our Christmas shopping done, but it turns out, she was shopping for herself. The way she explained it was,

“The prices are so low, how can you not buy it?”

“I don’t know…maybe, you just don’t order it.”

She looked at me like I was speaking a strange foreign language.

Then she told me how easy Amazon has made it for her. All she has to do is click on an item and it automatically ships. Now, isn’t that convenient?

“Damn you Amazon! Damn you all to hell!”

They’re not going to suck me in with all of their sales hype. This time of year becomes more and more commercialized and people forget the true meaning of the season. Besides, I’m holding out for “Black Friday vs. Cyber Monday. The Sale to end all Sales!” You want to talk about some bargains?

Anyway, if you’re tired of shopping, here’s a little video to remind you what Christmas is all about.

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