Are You Ready For Some?

Are You Ready For Some…

Whatever This Is?


Thursday is opening day for the NFL and once again, rule changes will confuse and anger us as we wonder…

“Was that a catch?”

“Was that helmet to helmet?’

“Did he lower his head?”

“Was he kneeling during the National Anthem?”

“Did he catch it with his head?”

“If he lowers his head when he catches it, is it still a catch?”

“Did he lower his head during the National Anthem?”

“Does this make sense anymore?”

The new lowering the helmet rule will be the most interesting to watch. There will be plenty of bad calls and missed calls, just like always. New rules trying to protect these guys from hurting and maiming each other do not sit well with the blood-thirsty fans.

Admit it, you can’t remember a single catch JuJu Smith-Schuster made last year. No, but you remember him decking Vontez Burfict and standing over him. That’s what we want to see. If they brought back feeding people to the Lions, they couldn’t print enough tickets.

You know we will be sitting there for a painful eternity while some guy is staring at a video screen and waiting for official word from the League Office.

Supposedly, if a guy catches the ball this year, it will actually count as a catch. Unlike last year when everyone outside of New England and Al Riveron saw Jesse James score the winning touchdown against the Patriots.

I know it’s still a sore subject in Pittsburgh and I shouldn’t bring it up…But, what the hell was Al Riveron looking at? Could it have been a check from Robert Kraft, owner of the Patriots?

Well, it’s the start of a new season, let’s see how it plays out. Who will go down with major injuries…hopefully, they’re not on your fantasy roster. Who will get suspended for using something they’re not supposed to…Again, hope they’re not on your fantasy roster.

I believe the biggest story of the NFL season will be the ugliness that happens in Cleveland. I’m not talking about the Browns having another losing season. That’s a given. No, I’m talking about what happens if they somehow win another game.

Those paying attention know that Cleveland didn’t win a game all of last season. The year before, they won only one game. So now, some genius in the marketing department has come up with a celebration gimmick.

What they’ve done, is stock coolers full of “Bud-Light” around the stadium. When the Browns finally win their next game. Fans will get a free beer.

The problem I see, from my calculations, is there are something like twenty coolers that hold about 100 beers apiece. That’s around two thousand beers. The Browns stadium holds 73,000. You do the math.

People will be fighting each other, there will be stampedes, people getting trampled, and all for a stinking can of “Bud Light.” It will be a free for all, the likes of which we haven’t seen since…I have to go with “10 cent beer night” during a Cleveland Indians baseball game in 1974.

I guess Cleveland is Cleveland because they’re Cleveland…As long as it doesn’t happen on Sunday.

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