Just Shut Up!

 

 

The photo above was taken ten days ago in the Poconos, so is doubtful they are still together. We all knew it wouldn’t last when they first got together…All right, stop your groaning. I’m just trying to point out how ridiculous conversation is when it’s about the weather.

I wrote this on Tuesday, so I don’t know what we will be dealing with today. Actually, neither do any of the weather people since I’ve heard various forecasts throughout the day. All I know is that in the eastern U.S., we will be dealing with winter storm Toby.

Now, Toby doesn’t sound that menacing. Were Tad and Trevor already taken? A storm that could dump a foot and a half of snow in places should not be named Toby. What about Tubby? At least then you know what you’re dealing with. Believe me, you don’t want someone named Tubby on top of you.

Yes, I know yesterday was the first day of spring and now we’re dealing with snow. That’s why I originally was going to title this, “Spring My Ass!” I just thought it sounded too much like a device to help you get out of your seat. Instead of “The Car Cane” you can use “Spring My Ass,” to help you get out of the car. Just make sure you’re in the right position so your head doesn’t go through the windshield.

Oh, by the way, this is my invention. So, don’t go trying to steal this from me. I’m working on a prototype as I write this.

People will be pointing out that it’s been more than six weeks since the groundhog predicted six more weeks of winter. I like to point out there was nothing saying they would be six consecutive weeks. We had very little snow and a couple of days in the 70’s in February. According to my calculations, we have at least two more weeks.

I’m tired of talking about the weather. If that’s all we have to discuss, we really have nothing to talk about! That’s why I do what I can to end the conversation.

“It’s really coming down out there.”

“Thank you for pointing that out. My vision no longer allows me to see through glass.”

Usually they try to respond and then just walk away.

“Is it could enough for you?”

“I don’t mind the cold unless I need a patch of unfrozen ground.”

Then I smile, wink and walk away. We don’t talk much after that.

All I’m saying is let’s not talk about the weather today. I know it sucks, you know it sucks…let’s just look at each other and nod our heads in disgust. That says it all.

Anyway, I have to go. It seems my invention needs some work. I have to go try to have a spring removed from a sensitive area. If you bring up the weather, I’ll show you my wound…just saying.